Sztuka pisania newsów

Wystarczy tylko wypełnić formularz, w którym znalazło się parę pytań o rzeczy związane z branżą (nazwy zespołów, menedżerów itp.) a także niezwiązanych z nią (Twój ulubiony narkotyk, ulubiona czynność), oraz "dowolna liczna z zakresu". Resztę zrobi za od razu Ciebie program o nazwie Tabloid Band Split Exclusive Generator

Chętni do spróbowania swoich sil w zakresie sieciowego "dziennikarstwa" mogą zajrzeć tutaj

A oto historyjka wygenerowana na podstawie danych waszego wesołego sanitariusza:

Browar Żywiec to split!

Band set to bid farewell in 2004

By Mark, the reporter who told you Ich Troje would fuck some nice fish and then go to bed

World beating pop band Browar Żywiec will shock their all 3 fans at some point in the future when they announce that they will sensationally SPLIT. They've been successful for a while, and at some point in the future they might not be. Or something.

GO OUT AT THE TOP

Goran Bregovic, lead singer in the band, may possibly have told someone I recently met that "We always wanted to go out on the top. After our 2% sellout tour last month we knew we couldn't wish for any more, and so we have decided to call it a day while we're still on top."

But a source close to the band, a different source, not the one who said the quote just then, a different source - told Z a different story. 'For some reason being with each other 20 hours a day, seven days a week has got to them. They sometimes argue about things!'

Browar's last days have been meticulously planned by pop svengali Krzysztof Krawczyk, former manager of Code Red, Gemini, Alex Party and O.N.A. He put the band together 2 HOURS ago. My Browar source - the first one again, not the second one - told me that Wójcik had been planning a series of HOLIDAYS with the money he made from Browar, and was even considering buying some white goods, including a Geant washing machine.

FANS

Browar, who recently recruited their 2 fans to stage the biggest ever sleep in an attempt to get into the Guinness Book Of Records, are set to break the hearts of kids up and down the country when their secret plan is revealed. I've already revealed it, but I mean when they actually reveal it properly, in a statement or something.

In recent months other bands who haven't been successful forever and who've wanted to put a full stop on things rather than trundle into the dumper in order to be ridiculed by the likes of tabloid journalists include Five and Steps. And you can bet there'll be some other ones as well.

The news will come as another shock to fans of Browar, who have been plagued by scandal. Earlier this year I exclusively revealed that orchidea from the band was once a butcher, while two other members of the band were caught in Covent Garden feeding pigeons SLD.

Unlike tabloid journalists, who like me are perfect.

OTHER BANDS I DON'T LIKE THAT MUCH

There are lots of bands around at the moment who I don't like very much. I can exclusively reveal that they too will split. a1, that's one of them. Don't like them much. And Metallica, they're shit as well.